I thought I was ready…

To settle down and start my life

 

I thought I was ready…

To graduate school, grow and start the next chapter in my life
I thought I was ready…

To find new friends because mine were too immature for me to appreciate

Or so I thought

 

I thought I was ready…

But I wasn’t ready. Not even close.

 

I thought that…

 

I thought that…

To truly be happy I had to grow up and be an adult

I had to stop messing around and take life seriously, because that’s what will make me infinitely happy

Right?

 

I thought that…

To find who I was I had to get lost in a world of people.

That I had to fit in and go with the norm of society

 

But, I was wrong…

 

I was wrong…

When I thought that the only way to happiness was to make sure everyone liked me

That I pleased everyone

And put everyone before me, all the time

 

I was wrong…

When all I cared about was what people were saying about me

When I was so scared about the judgement of the world that I would hide behind this curtain of ‘safety.’ The curtain that would protect me from all hatred of the world

 

But…I was wrong…

 

And now I know…

 

Now I know…

That I can’t hide forever

That that curtain I thought was so safe was just a figment of my imagination

I created that curtain because I was scared and ashamed of who I was and what I had done

 

Now I know…

I am ready to grow back down

To enjoy life, and take it as it comes

 

Now I know…

That no one is perfect

That everyone makes mistakes

We are only human

And being human is hard

 

Now I know…

That it is okay

To be silly

To be happy

To be defeated

To make mistakes

And to admit that you need help

 

Now I know…

That life if hard and to be successful I need to learn to love myself

 

And now…

 

And now…

I’m ready to truly be happy

Ready to smile and mean it

To accept me for who I am

And to learn to love all my unique gifts from God that make me who I am

 

And now…

I am working on loving myself and everyone around me

 

Even though the journey will be hard

I am ready

To be silly

To be happy

To be defeated

To make mistakes

And to admit that you need help

 

I am ready to be me